Mia Elizabeth Newman

AGING AND ACCEPTANCE

Aging is a fact. Moving from awareness to acceptance can be instant. It can be a process, sometimes a very slow process.

Acceptance means ‘accepting the fact of a situation and then deciding what we will do about it.'(Alanon 12 steps). It ‘ is the act of allowing reality to be as it is….acceptance does not ask you to approve, like, want the experience, event, circumstance or feeling'( Rebecca Ray Psychologist ).

Radical Acceptance (Linehan Psychologist) is a process which is used by a registered professional when the emotional and/or physical distress is severe. I had a melanoma cancer removed from my face. The unknown was the level of disfigurement I would face. I was supported by a psychologist to cope with my extreme anxiety.

And of course there is learning, joy and curiosity and accepting a new stage of life with its creative possibilities. I now play chess, a basic game and yes checkmate is a word I don’t use often but its fun!

Often we have the part of us that will resist accepting facts and the part that does see what is happening. We struggle with reality. Nuturing ourselves through this process with understanding helps. Journalling helps. When we accept facts we can make small manageable changes or learn to accept what is.

It is important to remind ourselves that there are things we don’t have to accept. I have learnt to carefully and respectfully say when confronted with disrespect ‘there are ways to communicate and I don’t wish to be spoken to like that.’ This has worked with family and we are all learning together. I invite you to find what works for you.

We may be letting go of some parts of who we were, and facing new challenges but let us say hello to who we may become.