Mia Elizabeth Newman

A NEW MINDSET

Coping with my aging begins with daily journalling, an A5 notebook and english breakfast tea. I face my day sometimes peacefully sometimes with anxiety. Reading back through the note books I started when I was seventy I can see themes emerging. From this the first three blogs were written on aging, awareness and acceptance. Coping was added and I realized a new mindset was developing.

This new mindset was partly internal; feelings thoughts and dreams. It was also external; my relationship with the external world was changing and that included my sense of self. It also included my family and society. I needed resources to help me make sense of this. I found a very good psychologist who knew how to listen and validate me.

Women Rowing North: Navigating life’s currents and flourishing as we age by Mary Pipher also became a valuable resource. Pipher uses the metaphor of a journey on a river. The first section is Challenges of The Journey beginning with the chapter ‘A new stretch of the river’. Travel Skills is the second section and the opening chapter is ‘Understanding ourselves’. The third section is The People on the Boat opening with ‘Travel companions’. The Northern Lights section opens with ‘Moon river: authenticity and self acceptance.’ She writes ‘ I have learned from my journey. I don’t expect constant happiness. I know how to help myself. I am calmer and less reactive. I still have my share of bad days and I need constant reminders to be present and grateful but I am engaged in a hopeful process. The process rather than a perfect outcome is what makes me happy.’

Women Rowing North provided me with a professional and authentic resource written by a clinical psychologist who focused on older women, aging and identity. It has depth and compassionate insight. I use it a chapter at a time. It adds to my coping skills and gives a new perspective on confronting issues.

Your life journey is your unique story and it has validity. I hope you will persevere in the mature years to live the final chapters in a way that brings you peace and closure.